Is It Time To Let Go?

It’s a new year new me…. right?
Well, what if we didn’t wait for the proverbial ‘ducks to be in a row’ or ‘when I get enough time’ or ‘the start of the new year/month/week’ to begin change.

So often we get stuck on waiting for the right time, or place, or whatever to begin.
I know I have done this so many times I recon if I hop around on one leg, and hold my tongue just right, and sing kumbaya any more times I’ll be a tangled mess on the floor rivalling the best contortionists in the world!

I was, (and to be perfectly honest) sometimes still are, a wonderful procrastinator… or what kinda doesn’t look like procrastination… What it looks like is being “busy” but is actually avoiding the thing that is actually requiring to be finished… Yeah THAT kind of procrastination…

I remember having many conversations with my Mum growing up explaining in great detail what I was going to do, how I was going to do it, and what the perceived outcome would be…
Her response…
“Rather than standing here talking about it, just go and do it!”

She saw my procrastination and nudged me to push through and get moving.

Looking back I can also see how I would get myself bogged down with the finite details of a project so I can make it PERFECT and not fail, so I can then make my parents proud of me…

I wanted to know all the steps before I took them so I knew what to expect and if I didn’t know or couldn’t find out, then I wouldn’t start…

I would have my Dad’s saying rolling around my head…
“If a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.”

This is a great principle to live by, both are actually…

However… Those two things coupled with my need to people please so I didn’t have to deal with the energy of anger, disappointment, or annoyance, really inflamed the procrastinator in me. 

As I moved into adulthood, I found myself making big wobbly leaps in one direction in life, realising they didn’t really work for me, searching for advice, only to be told to keep going in the direction I felt not so sure about anymore.

I had mapped it out into the finest of details but still, I didn’t anticipate what my heart, my intuition, and my soul purpose was…

I doubted myself.
I had become so disconnected from my heart and being that I felt lost, confused, and suicidal.

My perfectionism and control freak were in full activation mode! And if I didn’t think I could do something perfectly, I wouldn’t even start.

Just ask my architectural drawing tutor in my second year… I would walk in, set up my drawing gear for the 3 hour class, walk out, go drink coffee for a couple of hours, walk back in with caffeine shakes rippling through my numb body, pack up my stuff, and leave…

I wasn’t happy.
I didn’t know what happiness was anymore.
I didn’t know what love was, I didn’t feel honoured, and I didn’t know how to be or do any of that for myself.

When we are in that place… The vibration or resonance of that permeates through everything we touch.

Sometimes we get lucky and we manage to still attract people into our world that see beyond the hurt and trauma, and just love us anyway, even if we can’t quite see that for ourselves yet…

It took me a loooooong time, 2 marriages, 2 divorces, a total mental break down, traveling overseas, moving countries, starting from scratch 3 times, and finally realising that while it’s important to have some kind of direction/target to work towards, it’s by far more important to just get to and start doing it.

Cultivating the allowance to be ok if things didn’t work out exactly as to how I planned.
Establishing the belief that everything will be as it is meant to be.
Integrating that softness, receiving, vulnerability, awareness, asking for help, and saying no, are all required to have my own back.
  Becoming aware of, and quietly unapologetic for, my potency and speed of creation/manifestation/actualization, and how that can be intimidating to others.
and patience…
ohhh my word has this life been about patience…
Not so easy for this Aries on a mission! haha

In the last 7 years is also when I relaxed my grip on having all the ‘ducks in a row’ way of life.

It’s not been easy, especially at the beginning…
However the more willing I have been to get uncomfortable with those aspects of my life and personality, uncovering and healing the toxic belief systems and points of views, the easier my life has become.

And has given me the skills, tools, and courage, to be able to assist others to do the same…

My procrastination these days looks a little different to when I was as a teen… Instead of going into the details of a project and getting nowhere… Sometimes I will just find other activities that are more actively calling to me…

Well in my mind they are!
You know like the dishes, the laundry, that random graphic for affirmations, cuppa tea with a friend, or just going for a drive… I have even been known to procrastinate by decluttering my email inbox!
For me the active procrastination gives me the reasons and justifications to not do those uncomfortable, or ‘boring’ things like writing a 2 page essay that is super easy but requires me to sit and just flipping to it and then be judged in my work…
Hmmm now here’s the funny thing
How often do we stop ourselves from being all that we truly be, the magic that we truly be, the boldness, the intelligent, the funny, the loving, the sensual, the wealth generator, the vulnerable, and the potent being we actually be… because we perceive the possible judgement and so we try to mitigate that by not even putting ourselves forward in the first place…
That way the only person we are letting down or disappointing is ourselves and that’s acceptable… right???

I’m going to pop a little wee bit of Pussy Queen Lorene magic into your world right now…
NO IT IS NOT OK TO LET YOURSELF DOWN JUST TO AVOID JUDGEMENT!!!!

For us to live our most abundant and delicious and amazing life EVER, we must allow the judgement of others to exist and not buy into it, and then choose to stop ourselves from receiving that.

Remember, it’s the perceived possible judgement, not necessarily true!

However, as we all know there is a lot of judgement still in this world at the moment, and now is the time that we get to gloriously choose to play in the space beyond that, to have allowance for it, to continue to create our incredible life which then invites others to do and be whatever that incredible life is for them!

To me that is far more fun, delicious, and amazing, than looking back in a year’s time thinking,
“gosh if only I had of done ______.”

So, is now the time for you to let go of the judgement in your world?
Is now the time for you to let go of the ‘ducks-in-a-row’ mentality?
Is now the time to dive in and really receive the incredible thing that is your glorious human experience?

If you required permission to do so… Here it is…
Go out there my courageous friend!
Be Bold, Be Brave, and Be YOU!!!

Big Kiwi Cuddles
~ Lorene
and p.s. finish those things that you’re putting off because they are so damn easy for you 😉

If you’d like to have some assistance in moving and releasing those blocks holding you back…
Book in a 1 hour session here… from anywhere in the world!
xx

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